Tips for Creating the Right Parenting Plan

How to Create the Right Parenting Plan for Separating Couples

Separation is never easy, especially when children are involved. One of the most important—and often most emotional—decisions divorcing couples face is how to share parenting responsibilities. A well-thought-out parenting plan is crucial for minimizing stress, maintaining stability for your children, and reducing the likelihood of future conflict.

Here’s how to approach the process of creating the right parenting plan:

1. Understand What a Parenting Plan Is

A parenting plan is a written agreement that outlines how divorced or separated parents will raise their children. It typically covers:

• Custody arrangements (legal and physical)

• Parenting schedules

• Decision-making responsibilities

• Communication guidelines

• Holiday and vacation plans

• Protocols for dispute resolution

Most courts require some form of parenting plan during the divorce process, and it often becomes a binding part of the final divorce decree.

2. Put the Child’s Best Interests First

The cornerstone of any good parenting plan is the best interest of the child. This means creating a plan that supports the child’s emotional, educational, and physical well-being. Factors to consider include:

• The child’s age and developmental needs

• Each parent’s ability to provide care

• Childcare needs

• How close the parents live to each other

• The child’s relationship with each parent

• The child’s commitments (extracurricular activities, work, school functions or schedules, etc)

• Prioritizing quality of time over quantity of time

3. Consider Different Parenting Time Schedules

There is no one-size-fits-all solution. The right schedule depends on the unique circumstances of your family. Some common arrangements include:

• Alternating weeks: Children spend one week with each parent. Often best for older children as it offers the most stability.

• 2-2-3 schedule: Parents alternate two days, then three days. Common for younger children.

• 2-2-5-5 schedule: Parents have assigned Monday/Tuesday or Wednesday/Thursday and then alternate the weekends. Common for younger children.

• Weekend-only schedule: One parent has primary physical custody during the week, and the other parent has weekends or every other weekend.

Try to balance consistency with flexibility. Consistent routines help children feel secure, but flexibility is important for handling unexpected changes.

4. Factor in Communication and Decision-Making

Will you make decisions jointly about education, healthcare, and religion? Or will one parent have final say or will a third party such as a doctor? Who and how will these decisions be paid for? A good parenting plan spells out how you’ll handle:

• School enrollment and parent-teacher meetings

• Medical and dental appointments

• Extracurricular activities

• Emergencies

• Add-on child expense costs

Also, decide how you’ll communicate—text, email, or co-parenting apps can help minimize conflict.

5. Think About Logistics

Practicality matters. Consider:

• The distance between homes

• Transportation responsibilities

• Work schedules

• Access to child care and schools

Unrealistic plans can lead to stress and broken agreements.

6. Plan for Holidays and Special Occasions

Specify how you’ll share holidays, birthdays, and school breaks. Some parents alternate holidays each year; others keep the same holiday every years; or others split the day. How will new future partners be included in future child events. Clear guidelines help avoid last-minute disputes.

7. Build in Flexibility and Review Periods

Children’s needs evolve, and so do family dynamics. It’s wise to include:

• A process for requesting changes

• Regular review periods (e.g., annually)

Final Thoughts

Crafting a thoughtful parenting plan takes effort, communication, and compromise. But investing in this process lays the foundation for a cooperative co-parenting relationship and a stable, nurturing environment for your children. Remember, this isn’t about winning or losing—it’s about giving your kids the best possible future after divorce. Mediation offers a safe space to discuss these difficult decisions thoroughly and thoughtfully. Contact us for a free consultation to discuss how we can help you develop your own custom parenting plan.